Star Trek, the Nokia Invasion

[pyat]

I've just returned from seeing the new Star Trek film with mar2nee, Daniel, and their kids. I largely liked it. I give it a... mmm.... 7.25/10?

What didn't I like?

Well...


The first 30 minutes or so almost entirely failed to engage my interest. Nokia ads, beer ads, 1990s rap music (albeit a song I like) and everyone was a jerk.

About the time of the air drop onto Vulcan, the film picked up enough momentum to keep me engaged. Also, I recall people making fun of that clunky, old-school Traveller RPG because it claimed that space marines would receive training in sword fighting. The SF nerd pendulum has apparently swung back over to the realization that sword fighting in space is cool.

The nit-picking that follows is the precisely the sort of nit-picking I would subject past Trek installments to, even the ones I really liked.

Apparently, Federation starships now carry a brewery on board. All those bits with characters running around storage tanks in "engineering" caused Blake's 7 flashbacks. While a little "grit" is good, the warp drive should not remind me of a summer job at a soap factory.

It was rather foruitous that Kirk should happen to run into the single cave on that whole planet that happened to house Classic Spock. Also, holy cow, but Vulcan was close to that planet. Was it a moon of some kind? And Vulcan turned into a black hole. You'd think that be a little dangerous for the people on the ice moon. Assuming it was a moon.

On that note, if Classic Spock knew where the Starfleet base was, why was he moping around in a cave instead of, say, going to the Starfleet base and warning people?

Scotty is entirely comic relief. I have mixed feelings on that. He was not as stupid as he seemed to be in trailers, at least.

Uhura did nothing except look leggy. Admittedly, that's about all she ever did in most of TOS and the old movies, but, heck, it was like they were going out of their way to prevent her from doing anything cool. "Only Uhura can speak Romulan! Take over, Uhura!" "There are no transmissions, Captain." "Very good. You can go home now."

Star Fleet Order 619 is stupid. And wasn't Kirk equally guilty of violating it by jumping up and down and making Spock mad?

And finally - the enemy ship has just had a black hole form inside it, and a spaceship crash into it. It's disappearing over the event horizon. Hey, Kirk, why not get a little closer to shoot phasers at it, hmmm?

Comments

[redeem147.livejournal.com]

And Chris Pine isn't Kirk.

I gave it a 60% and that was because I liked Spocklar.

[pyat.livejournal.com]

No, Chris Pine definitely isn't. Hopefully, he'll grow into it. But really, horrible chain of command there. "Let's make the angry cadet we shot into space the new captain!"

[redeem147.livejournal.com]

Also, unlike some schools, apparently Star Fleet Academy doesn't care if its teachers sleep with students.

[pyat.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but he only does so once every 7 years!

[redeem147.livejournal.com]

In the movie it looked more like every 7 minutes. ;)

[mrs-dm.livejournal.com]

I don't think they ever slept together. It has all the makings of unconsummated love (complete with longing looks).

[cargoweasel.livejournal.com]

The SF nerd pendulum has apparently swung back over to the realization that sword fighting in space is cool.

Um, lightsabers maybe??? :3

I did wonder how that ice moon was within sight of Vulcan and so sparsely inhabited, wouldn't it have a few VULCAN outposts on it at least? And wouldn't Scotty be going "HOLY SHIT the planet we're orbiting just got sucked into a black hole" instead of sitting around throwing playing cards into a hat?

[pyat.livejournal.com]

Light sabers aren't swords - they're highly destructive short-range lasers that look cool! I meant, normal bog-standard swords. Been a while since it was okay to use them in SF.

I'd have thought that more Vulcans would have left when the giant spaceship showed up. Or been able to deliver a more coherent message than "We're having seismic disturbances," when, again, a ship that 21st radar would notice suddenly hove into view.

[katepufftail.livejournal.com]

"And finally - the enemy ship has just had a black hole form inside it, and a spaceship crash into it. It's disappearing over the event horizon. Hey, Kirk, why not get a little closer to shoot phasers at it, hmmm?"

Yes, yes, yes, yes! Ogawd, yes! Though, it did give us a chance to hear Scotty spout catch phrases. Glad to see that I'm not the only one who though that he felt tacked on.

Also, odd, but connected question. Does Starfleet not have enlisted ranks or NCOs? Seems they might come in useful, when Kirk needs to be reminded that black holes are serious business.

[pyat.livejournal.com]

Yes! Starfleet has warrant officers (http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Enlisted) and yeoman and crewman. They were the anonymous folks being sucked into space, I guess.

[katepufftail.livejournal.com]

Oh! Duh. Chief O'Brian. How could I forget Colm Meaney? I like Colm Meany.

[slwatson.livejournal.com]

Scotty is entirely comic relief. I have mixed feelings on that. He was not as stupid as he seemed to be in trailers, at least.

But could never in a million years be nearly as cool as this one. ::points to icon::

[pyat.livejournal.com]

I tend to agree. At the very least, they could have found someone who looked a bit more like Scotty. I think they just chose the first well-known actor with a passable Scots accent that showed up.

That said, if you can overcome the lack of Scotty and the annoying first 30-40 min, it suddenly turns into a fairly enjoyable movie. The best one since "First Contact", certainly.

[redeem147.livejournal.com]

It's certainly the best one since Nemesis. ;)

[slwatson.livejournal.com]

Simon Pegg got the role because he'd already worked with JJ in the past. That's how JJ casts movies. That being said, Hell, if they would have just shown him as something other than a complete and total idiot I might wince at the more stupid stuff, but I'd at least be willing to try it.

I wouldn't trust Pegg's bastardization to put together a child's TOY let alone command the engineering deck on a starship.

[pyat.livejournal.com]

I did not know that!

Pegg's characterization isn't incompetent, but it's also terribly silly and annoying. He does not have a line that isn't a joke.

[bodhifox.livejournal.com]

I still haven't seen it. Missed the $5 show last Monday, going tomorrow. Because I want to see it on a big screen.

And a brewery? Brilliant!

[pyat.livejournal.com]

I think you'd like it!

[elvishefer.livejournal.com]

It was the first movie I saw in a theater in a very long time where I felt as though I was having fun just by being there.

That being said, Scotty didn't bother me, but the monkey/alien sidekick really did.

For some reason it reminded me of an episode of Scoobie Doo.

Maybe it's the modern campiness I don't like.

And those meddling kids should get the heck off my lawn!

[pyat.livejournal.com]

Ug, the monkeydwarf, yes. I was happy when it got left behind. Then it showed up again. Arrrgh.

[madmanofprague.livejournal.com]

It wasn't even bad enough for me to hate it, a la Nemesis.

It was just... pointless

[pyat.livejournal.com]

But... there were phasers!