The Legend of the Last of the V8 Interceptors

[pyat]

Tuesday, April 24th, 2007
I pick up my new car, a 2004 Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor. It was ghostly white, with holes punched here and there in the body… holes covered in silicon tape that was oddly reminiscent of bandages.

Family members told me I was foolish to purchase a used police car.

Wednesday, April 25th, 2007
The very next day, on a whim, I pulled off the 403 to detour highway traffic on the lonely, twisting rural roads of Halton. Especially fun is the sudden curve that leads to a one-lane wooden bridge, or the tree-shadowed corkscrew bend past an old schoolhouse. I continue to take this detour every day.

It was not until today I realized my car had formerly served in the fleet of the Halton OPP.

Friday, April 27th, 2007
A strange rattle emanates from the undercarriage. I take the car to Midas at 8 AM. They tell me it is a minor problem, which can be fixed in an hour or so. I call throughout the day, each time to be told that the problem hasn't been fixed yet. Finally, just before closing, they call to say that though they ordered the part, it hasn’t shown up.

Monday, April 30th, 2007
I take the car to Maaco to be painted. They promise it will be done on Thursday. This proves to be a wild underestimate. For some reason, the car remains unpainted all week, even on Saturday. It's as though they just keep forgetting about it.

Tuesday, May 7th, 2007
I finally get the car back from Maaco. The paint sparkles and gleams in the spring sunshine. Two hours later, I notice an odd dullness on the hood. A dull, crackling texture spreads through the paint, like that of old leather. Yet, the paint is soft to the touch, coming away with the slightest pressure, exposing the bone white finish below…

It’s as though the paint doesn’t want to touch the car.

Wednesday, May 8th, 2007
The driver of a rented delivery truck smashes the passenger side of the car while it is parked at a grocery store, as though he didn’t even see it….

Insurance is called. Days pass, and no one calls back.

Monday, May 14th, 2007
I arrive at work to find a voicemail message.

“Sir, we have no record of you as one of our auto insurance clients.”

This, despite the pile of supporting documentation I have in front of me to prove that I am a client, and have insured this car. Several phone calls later, they finally sort it out, but now I must wait an additional 24 to 48 hours to hear from an insurance adjuster.

When I hang up, a feel a sudden and deep longing to either curse, or take the car for a nice long drive at lunch hour. Maybe get some coffee and doughnuts and drive. Yeah, that’s it… a drive… in the country… Halton, maybe… sure, yeah… a drive…

…drive down a sun-dappled hillside, down, down, down a twisting narrow road, to a one-lane wooden bridge across the dark and mysterious waters that look so cool and inviting…

I snap myself back to the present.

It’s pretty clear what I’m dealing with here, automobile-wise.

I’ve managed to purchase some kind of haunted ghost car.

Maybe a cop died in it. Maybe a criminal died in the back, or just some homeless old man. Or maybe the car itself has developed some kind of feeble, groping consciousness that influences me.

If you see me trying to buy a gun, or wearing mirrored shades and a nametag, call the vicar.

Comments

[catsarah.livejournal.com]

As far as I know May 7th was not both Monday and Tuesday ;3

[pyat.livejournal.com]

Fixed!

But then, Ghost Cars can change TIME!

[jesshartley.livejournal.com]

Permission to yoink?

[pyat.livejournal.com]

Granted! I just fixed the dates.

[dronon.livejournal.com]

Who are you and why are you on my friends list?

[pyat.livejournal.com]

*cue theremin!*

[jesshartley.livejournal.com]

Actually, I want to try to build it into a story I'm working on, if that's okay?

[pyat.livejournal.com]

Well, sure. Can I have a cameo? :)

[jesshartley.livejournal.com]

I'll do my best. :)

[perlandria.livejournal.com]

Oh! Oh! I know! Perform a aura cleansing on it by soaking all exposed electrical areas with salt water and tap the Hokey Pokey on the salt water with a copper atheme! (Dude, this one complete DITZ of a presenter at PCon was giving a talk about a magically clean home and seriously said to bless and charge things like computers and outlets with salt water and a copper knife. I had to walk out...)

[pyat.livejournal.com]

I'm sure all sorts of strange things would happen!

[perlandria.livejournal.com]

That noxious blue smoke is the evil leaving!

[pyat.livejournal.com]

And if you lick the atheme, you'll see spirits!

There's ghost cars all over these highways

[cargoweasel.livejournal.com]

You can do what my dad did, joke "Don't laugh, it's paid for", and even find a "PAID FOR" sticker from the supermarket and put it on the car somewhere. He bought nothing but a succession of truly awful junker cars for years and spent more in repairs and headaches than he saved up front. Eventually I convinced him to get a freakin' Toyota and it's run like a dream ever since. And it's paid for.

Re: There's ghost cars all over these highways

[pyat.livejournal.com]

Well, the thing is, so far the CAR has been fine. It's not a junker by any means. It's a 2004 Crown Victoria with low kilometres, with a high blue book value. It drives well, handles well, and looks sharp (at least when you squint, given the current paint job).

It's just every service I've attempted to apply to the car has failed spectacularly.

Re: There's ghost cars all over these highways

[warphammer.livejournal.com]

Exactly. For a moment I thought 'GEEZ I TOLD PYAT TO GET THAT THING', then I realized... Hey, wait, it's not the car, it's, well, everything else. And I mean eeeverything.

[cosmiccat.livejournal.com]

You realize a car which nobody notices or seems to remember would make the greatest getaway car in the history of banditry.

Not that I'm suggesting you don a top hat, monocle, cloak, and pair of plate gauntlets, becoming the Steel Baron - a most memorable bank robber with a strangely unmemorable car.

Not suggesting that at all.

"Well officer, he jumped into this car parked out front and it vanished like mist!"

[pyat.livejournal.com]

*adds "gauntlets" to his shopping list*

[neosis.livejournal.com]

That sounds like the perfect car for a certain professor...

Oh, and I'm sure the car isn't haunted by the spirit of a dead police officer, I'm sure it's just longing for it's mate which plunged into the icy waters beneath the bridge during a high speed police chase...

[pyat.livejournal.com]

It's.... mate?

That must be where Smartcars come from.

[neosis.livejournal.com]

Indeed, it looks like you're not up to date on the latest scientific research on the life cycle of cars. (http://disney.go.com/disneyvideos/animatedfilms/cars/) ()

[momentrabbit.livejournal.com]

That does raise an interesting question, given how some police departments can be resistant to releasing information at certain times.. can you get a vehicle abstract for a used police car?

And can you imagine what it would read like?

"Collision. Tire damage. Pitt Maneuver. Collision. Collision. Windshield replaced. Body work due to non-vehicular interaction at street level. Collision..."

[pyat.livejournal.com]

Eeep. I hope it's more "Hit curb at Tim Hortons in Milton".

[redeem147.livejournal.com]

At least it wasn't leaving the garage and running people over.

Probably.

[girlydoll.livejournal.com]

LOL, I was scrolling through the comments before I said "Christine has come home!"

[sassy-fae.livejournal.com]

*offers to lend you my copy of From a Buick 8 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/From_a_Buick_8)*